Kourtney Kardashian’s Agonizing Decision To Keep Her Baby

Kourtney Kardashian was faced with a major life decision when she learned she was pregnant.

The reality star says she agonized about keeping her baby.

“I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not, and I wasn’t thinking about adoption,” Kourtney told People. “I do think every woman should have the right to do what they want, but I don’t think it’s talked through enough. I can’t even tell you how many people just say, ‘Oh, get an abortion.’ Like it’s not a big deal.”

The 30-year-old said the baby’s father Scott Disick – who Kourtney recently reconciled with after a split in November – stuck by her side during her decision process.

“He wanted me to talk about it more, but I just kept to myself,” she explained. “He said, ‘I really want you to keep it, but I will support you whatever you decide to do.’”

The reality starlet said she also turned to her friends and the Web for help.

“I called my best friend crying, and I was like, ‘I don’t know what to do.’ She said, ‘Call your doctor, and at least find out the risks and stuff,’” she continued. “I looked online, and I was sitting on [my] bed hysterically crying, reading these stories of people who felt so guilty from having an abortion. I was reading these things of how many people are traumatized by it afterwards.”

Ultimately, Kourtney said the decision was hers.

“For me, all the reasons why I wouldn’t keep the baby were so selfish: It wasn’t like I was raped, it’s not like I’m 16. I’m 30 years old, I make my own money, I support myself, I can afford to have a baby. And I am with someone who I love, and have been with for a long time,” she told the mag. “I really wanted to think it through for myself, and not hear what my sisters were saying, or what Scott was saying. Even though I took it all in, I wanted it to be my decision. My doctor told me there is nothing you will ever regret about having the baby, but he was like, ‘You may regret not having the baby.’ And I was like: That is so true. And it just hit me. I got so excited, and when I told Scott he was so excited. But I think if I had said I’m not going to keep it, I really think he would have pushed me into keeping it.”